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Kimballisms - The Classics:
"That's the camel that broke the back." um... the last straw that broke the camel's back, perhaps?
"That throws a monkey into the wrench." That throws a wrench into the works...specifically a monkey wrench.
"Too much of a good thing sours the milk." We are still deciphering this one but it brought a whole conference room to a halt.
"It's like those unexplainable cropdusters..." We think that he meant crop circles.
"We look like a possum!" Possie, possum, same thing.
"You hit the nail on the wall" Almost as good as hitting the nail on the head, we guess.
"It's a doggie-dog world!" Dog-eat-dog is just so graphic.
"Walking along the beach and you come across a giant octopussy.." Way too much James Bond going on in this guy's head...
"That has no lunch." Hmmm...that has no merit?" That's out to lunch? You decide.
"Where's the manual on that book?" Sorry, there is no manual on that book--or, did you mean on that software?
"I'm calling your wolf!" Don't cry wolf " or Marc will call your bluff (but you won't know what the heck he's saying).
"It's the best thing since bread." Not just since sliced bread, folks...bread in general!
"It's not rocket surgery." Our favorite combination of "rocket science" and being a "brain surgeon."
"I just rolled my eye." Just one of them? Why not the other one too? How does he do that?
"That thing paid for itself hands over backwards!" In other words, it was worth the money.
"I'm taking Anti-Toxin vitamins" Anti-oxidants are for mere mortals." Marc takes Anti-Toxins to increase his super-powers.
"It's like talking to a dead wall..." Like a live wall is any more attentive?
"You could hear that with a naked ear. " Well...if you think about it, naked eye doesn't make much more sense.
"...just a blip on the dot." This is something way smaller than a dot on the map, and even smaller than a blip on the screen, we guess.
"...to the tenth degree." Most people say "enth" but in this case, Marc probably makes more sense...ehhh, who cares? It's still a Kimballism.
"It's that Voo-Voo doll!" Marc believes Michelle may have been hexed by a Voo-Voo doll. The question is, what's he been hexed by?
"How long is that in Clint-Time?" The mis-spoken part here is that he got Kent's name wrong, after 6 years of working together.
"They had me over the ropes..."Kind of like being over a barrel and up against the ropes all at once.
"...Like a zeon sign!" One of the shortest Kimballisms- ever he meant "neon."
"Back to the back!" Meaning, back to the beginning, to the drawing board, just plain back.
"Do the best that you can be." Be all that you can be...and do the best you can...all at once!
"This is a gut." Marc's abbreviation for a gut feeling.
"It's like dragging teeth to get anything out of them."
"Jeep Cherokee-the UN-limited Edition" What Marc has on order... What's taking so long if it's UN limited???
"A bad dog learns bad tricks." What??? A take-off of teaching an old dog new ones, we suppose. Don't even try to teach a bad dog, according to Marc!
"It's like a glass half water." I don't know. You figure it out.
"Everything will come as you may" "Build it and they will come...", or in this case Everything will come, and you may too.
7.23.02
“That was the last place I didn’t look” Well, don’t look their first next time!
9.30.02
“Now here we are, reaping the awards!” I’d just like to thank…
10.02.02
“He’s such a Igmaramos”
10.10.02
“It’s the subliminy of what’s there” (Speaking about subliminal text)
10.15.02
“(the politicians are) gearing up all their eggs” Political tricks of the trade… all in one basket
10.17.02
“…the brilliantcy!” What? It could be a word!
10.23.02
(Marc, what are you working on?) “Everything in the kitchen sink!” Hey, you asked
10.28.02
“Jumping on their throats” Down, on… either way, it’s gotta hurt!
11.1.02
“We’re at the end of the gun!” After being under the gun during the political season spot making frenzy, he could see light at the end of the tunnel, apparently.
11.1.02
“On my other side of that…” Do we really want to see Marc’s other side?
11.7.02
“We could sell a fortune!” Confucius seemed to think it would work.
1.13.03
“I’m not a cruel weather fan!” He won’t even hang out with us fair weather types!
1.13.03
“Are you gonna write up a biopsy on that?” Hope that biography doesn’t come back malignant.
1.15.03
”I made a Tapp Foo” Like Sna-foo makes any more sense.
2.14.03
“They could flip on a dime” Turn, flip… those acrobatic clients.
2.14.03
“Use the Primate Keyer for better results” The Primer Keyer keys primates too, but not as well.
2.19.03
“It spreads the gamit” If you’re not into running, this could work.
3.4.03
“Beverly Hills 90102” It’s all a Stardate to him anyway!
3.4.03
“Grouchy Tiger Hidden Dragon” The long awaited sequel.
3.7.03
“You have to get a Budget for Money to do it”
3.11.03
“We’re up on the wire”
Combo of “Up Against the Wall” and “Under the Wire” His sounds more treacherous to me!
3.11.03
“You’re the side in my thorn” Funny thing is… thorns are round.
3.28.03
“The Gorilla of Warfare” You’ve seen those hairy Generals on CNN, haven’t you?
3.31.03
“I graduated Magnum Coolotta” High Honors from Dunkin Donut University.
4.13.03
“One Shop Stopping” Find ALL the greatest stops in one place!
5. 1.03
“America has become the Escapegoat for them” Barnyard animals flee when Marc gets political.
5. 6.03
“You don’t know when the newity will wear off!”
5. 8.03
“this software has no real manual, just appendum after appendum…” Why print manuals when you can append the addendums, right?
5. 8.03
“hey… this is just the tip of the end!” You don’t want to see the bottom of the end, believe me.
5. 13.03
“The Atkinson diet has been working great for me!”
7. 9.03
“My dad is recovering at Mount Cyanide Hospital” Sounds like the cure could be worse than the cause.
7. 29.03
“We still have a Slimmer of Hope” A really thin Glimmer…I guess.
9.15.03
“Look at her, she clearly has had Bowling injections.” Is that Botox via ten pin or candlestick?
10.14.03
“Yes, yes, it’s free. It just cost $25.”
1.7.04
“They’ll have to swallow the bullet.” Do they at least get to bite it first?
1.28.04
“Sometimes too much is too much.” Marc calls them as he sees them.
2.11.04
“They’re covering their paper tracks.” Close… but we know different.
2.27.04
“I’m not going to double guess them” That’s a second guess for you and I.
3.11.04
“I’m looking for a Vanilla folder” Manilla, Chocolate or Strawberry not good enough huh?
3.13.04
“I’ll get the Alaska Pie for desert” Baked Alaska and Eskimo Pie’s illegitimate offspring
3.15.04
“This project is dead as a bird” I don’t know…
3.16.04
“I really got at the meat of the potato” The “Meat and Potatoes” would be too much to digest
3.17.04
“I got the slot machine!” He “hit the jackpot”, then took the whole machine with him.
3.17.04
“This guy is a thorn in my butt” The guy was aiming for the side but hit low I guess.
3.19.04
“Client loved it. They’re on Sky High!” They were at “Ground Low” when they started, so, nice job Marc!
3.22.04
“She has to be hand fed” or hand held while spoon feeding?
3.22.04
“It’s coming… It’s bearing it’s head” Always nice to arrive with one’s head.
3.24.04
“Set the law down” Others might ‘lay the law down’
4.2.04
“I avoid that with the plague” Using the plague as a weapon of avoidance… clever.
4.5.04
“We’re just shifting hairs!” Hey, before you go and split them, you should give shifting a chance.
4.8.04
“They’re laughing down their other side!” I don’t know?
4.12.04
“After 6 years, it took it’s last leg” Marc’s lawn mower is apparently a self-mutilating quadriplegic now.
4.19.04
“She’s spooling her guts!” Spilling them can be so messy.
5.12.04
“Too many eggs spoil the pot!” Don’t think I want any of those eggs.
5.18.04
“We’re right on Tune!” Tune. Time. Either way we’re right on.
5.26.04
“This is gonna be an upgradeable day!.” Good to know when your 1.5 morning starts badly, there is still hope for the 2.0 afternoon upgrade.
6.4.04
“Sometimes it’s the heart that goes, or the mental factories start to fail.” Dr. Kimball on the process of aging
6.16.04
“Just a day in a park for you.” Might be easy, but it makes for a long walk.
6.18.04
“Kiddie Boppers.” Younger cousins to the Teeny Boppers
6.18.04
“The Grass is never greener on the other side.” Marc knows life is good where he’s at!
7.17.04
“Nothing like throwing a little flame on the oil!” The difficulty of this task must make for far less volatile situations.
8.27.04
“Who’s making all those screaming noises over there, Hannibal Lecture?” The Hannibal Lecter Lecture circuit… coming to a bookstore near you!
8.30.04
“Those Olympic athletes are so pumped up on hydrenaline!” Better than we mere mortals who are limited to Lo-drenaline.
9.16.04
“I like the graindation of that effect.” Gradient. Grain. Hey, we knew what he meant.
9.23.04
“There were a lot of knuckle drivers on that shoot.” When society’s draggers take to the road…
10.15.04
“You never know, it’s like lightning striking the bottle.” Even if it struck the same place twice, would that same bottle be there?
11.16.04
“Anything is always possible.” Batman once said that “Nothing is impossible”, so this stands to reason.
11.17.04
“That won’t pass the mustard.” Marc’s standards are much higher than any mere condiment!
11.29.04
“It’s like pulling the carrot.” No doubt the unscrupulous follow-up to the “dangling of the carrot”.
12.16.04
“I’ve never seen that in so long!” And you thought just “Never” was a long time.
12.23.04
“It’s all this micro-worriment that bothers me.” I’ll take one big worrisome issue over the micros any day.
1.17.05
“They are probably busy doing some other fires.” There will never be a shortage to put out if these people keep up the good work.
2.3.05
“Those back street-drivers.” Entire avenues driving poorly in a town near you!
2.4.05
“Went to the cow too many times.” So I guess the cow is now dry, and you certainly can’t milk a well.
2.9.05
“Dragged through the floor.” Cleaner than through the mud, but a bit more painful I’m sure.
2.11.05
“It’s the hunt of the deal.” Sadly, when the sale is closed… the thrill is gone.
2.14.05
“The Conan Brothers.” You know, the directors to “O Barbarian, Where Art Thou?”
3.7.05
“Every company goes through those dips and valleys.” Tough to raise employee moral without ever hitting any peaks!
5.6.05
“He’s got him over the coals!.” Is that a barrel full of coals?
6.28.05
“You open the door a crack and they take a mile.” How many cracks make up a mile these days anyway?
7.15.05
“He finally caught the light.” Anyone can just look and see it. The trick is in the catch!
8.26.05
“He’s a mastery of the craft.”
9.13.05
“You know, it’s very easy to be a backseat quarterback” Says you! Ever try completing a pass between the headrests?
3.8.06
“OK, you ready? Cuz now I’m gonna throw a monkey wrench at ya” Ya, we know.
3.10.06
“We would roll like a pancake!” Flipping like one might be easier.
3.10.06
“Monpodge” Combo of montage and hodge-podge
3.11.06
“Now I see, we’re back where we are!” It’s nice when things become very clear… to him.
3.11.06
“What will be the next Golden Egg?”
4.4.06
“The ones who do the least work usually have the loudest bark” Sad, but true.
6.5.06
“He’s the most Nicky Picky”
6.7.06
“A classic comedy: Mighty Python and the Holy Grail”.
6.27.06
“Impostal buyers”. Impulse buyers with angst… and perhaps a weapon.
6.28.06
“It’s just an exercise in air”. If all you do is talk about things, only the air is affected… I guess.
1.19.07
“Throw them off like a monkey wrench”. Some use cunning techniques to lose their enemies. Marc prefers good ole hand tools.
1.24.07
“They’re all just chair coaching”. Hey, if you can’t “Backseat Quarterback”, it’s the next best thing.
1.30.07
“I’m about to string their necks!”. Either they’ve gotten Marc mad at them or he’s now into jewelry.
2.2.07
“All these companies have reached the flat bell curve”
2.28.07
“It ain’t lost till you lose it” Sometimes we need to state the obvious.
4.26.07
“I’m still missing them till I get them”. Again with the obvious thing.
5.07.07
“He was not throwing me into the woods!”. Marc, in defense of a client who usually opts to toss people into the forest instead of under a bus.
5.18.07
“Put this in Jen’s ear!”. As long as it’s no bigger than a bug she probably won’t mind… I guess.
8. 8.07
“My gap of opportunity is dwindling down!”. There are very tiny windows in Marc’s world.
8. 16.07
“A penny wise… a dollar foolish”. Pound for pound, this makes more sense.
8. 20.07
“We gotta quit this free-bono stuff ”. We’re addicts for Sonny giveaways.
9. 05.07
“Hey, that’s our first actual second one!”. Again, the Kimball logic is un-debatable.
9. 07.07
“You know what they say… you can’t change a rabbit!” … into what?
9. 21.07
“If I didn’t have to do this, I’d drop that on a dime!” Is he dropping a dime on the hot potato, or would he turn on a dime if he had the time?
10.3.07
“Don’t want to cut off the hand that feeds you!” Perhaps just biting it would be sufficient.
10.8.07
“A Lepard can’t change it’s stripes!” Maybe if you stretch it’s spots.
10.10.07
“It’s Half-Backwards” The real optimist would say Half-Forward.
10.11.07
“I’ve got a few bags of tricks up my sleeve!” Is that why he wears those oversized shirts?
1.07.08
“You know what they say, it’s the turtle that always gets the hare.”
1.12.08
“…to me, it’s never a “Brainer”. “
1.23.08
“There’s your proof of pudding!”. For all you Jello-brand skeptics!
2.12.08
“The less the merrier!”. Marc is leary of crowds.
4.08.08
“They gave away a lot of young youths.” Marc is skeptical of the Red Sox’s baby trading
4.08.08
“I’m in a No-Zone place.” The ultimate Zone-out experience.
4.09.08
“It’s like putting the wheel before the cart.” Oh, I get it…a Chopper cart!
4.11.08
“Hello-Ha!” The Kimballeese greeting in Hawaii
4.21.08
“He’s going against uphill” The political season is starting and for some, the battle will be… hilly?
4.11.08
“Cid Caesar’s Palace” Marc’s uncle helped establish this place and Ringling Bros. Circus Circus!
8.13.08
“He let the cat out of the bottle” But he managed to put the Jeannie back in the bag.
9.16.08
“The economy is blowing wind” The opposite of sucking wind… I guess.
10.18.08
“Take me for a loop” The gentler approach to throwing someone.
10.23.08
“We can lead them towards directions…” But can you make them drink?
11.7.08
“I was checking out that blog site “My-Face”…” Social networking’s latest merger.
1.16.09
“That idea would sink like a lead brick.” Very true., but still a Kimballism nonetheless.
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